


Spider Noir orders a big mac

by CPgal12



Category: Marvel, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: BDSM, Bestiality, Crack Treated Seriously, I'm Going to Hell, M/M, McDonald's, My mom is in the room while I am typing this, Sex, mentions of Nicholas Cage, sex in Mcdonalds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-20 04:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17615486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CPgal12/pseuds/CPgal12
Summary: Spider gang goes to Mcdonalds. Spider Noir must order. He choose big mac.





	1. The fresh sex of Mcdonalds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostintraining](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostintraining/gifts).



"Noir, Are you ok?" Peter asked as he watched his new found friend staring at the McDonald's menu.  
"I'll order, big mac"  
It been five hours. Five whole hours of Noir standing in the line. For Big mac.  
"No Pickles, no Tomato, just. Ham, and lettuce, with cheese." Noir spoke dramatically, lighting flashed for dramatic effect. Spider-Ham stared in shock.  
"Uh..Noir, you should try ord-" Miles was interrupted by Noir.  
"Then. With Extra cheese." he stated tipping his fedora. Lighting struck again.  
"Thank you sir, who is next."  
He picked up his large cup dramatically, and walked to the soda machine. Spider-Ham walked over.  
"You know you are possibly eating my father. Right?" Spider-Ham spoke. Getting a cup with only ice.  
"Why what do you want me to eat Spider-Ham." He asked as he got a napkin.  
"Anything but a dead animal! Peeta is gonna sue you ya know!"  
"Well then I could eat you." He said. he stared at the pig. The pig stared at him intensely. Spider-Ham had a fight or flight instinct come him. Was Noir ok? Wa he impressed by Mcdonald's? Spider-Hams thoughts were interrupted by being dragged to the McDonald's bathroom.  
"N-NOIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING."  
"What Peter, and Gwen payed me to do." Spider-Noir slammed the bathroom door shut.  
"OK WE NEED TO PRETEND TO HAVE SEX OR THEY WON'T PAY FOR MY BURGER." Noir almost shouted.  
"Did I make you uncomfortable? Di-I am so Sorry." Noir stared at Ham. Praying he accept the apology. Ham stared at Noir more.  
"Who said I didn't want it Noir?" Ham said seductively. Noir's face went red beneath the mask. Spider-Ham. Wanting to fuck him. In a McDonald's.  
"Well Ham." He spoke.  
"I accept." He winked. A wink anyone would die for.  
Spider-Ham took off his clothes.  
Spider-Noir got the memo and took off his clothes. Only leaving the mask. Spider-Noir was more hype than the time he solved the Rubix cube. He was pumped. His raging black and white dick was out. Spider-Ham was looking like your everyday pig. Spider Noir, was just a man from a Black and White movie. A romance come true. Spide-Noir grabbed his coat. and tied Ham down.  
"Who said you would be the top?" He said. Tipping his fedora.  
SpiderHam went red. "BUT I DIDN'T AGREE TO BEING BOTTOM!" He shouted.  
SpiderNoir laughed. He grabbed his shirt to blindfold Ham.  
"YOU KNOW I'LL SUCK AS A BOTTOM NOIR, CAN YOU HEAR ME OR DO YOU HAVE AIRPODS IN?!" Spider-Ham shouted asking. Remembering how Noir was shocked at the sheer existence of Airpods.  
"Oh, You will." Noir responded.  
Ham felt something enter his mouth. It was Noir's dick. Long, thick. Longer than Nicholas Cage's dick. Extra thicc. With two c's. Ham sucked on the dick. he heard moans, he was making Noir, FEEL PLEASURED. HE WA A PIG. HE WAS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS. Then, he would quit. he refused to quit. He felt like he was lifted off the ground. Spider-Noirs knee was Fondling with Ham's ball sack.  
"Ham, IM GONNA C-" Noir was interrupted as he cummed into spider-Hams mouth. Ham felt pleasured as he felt his ball sack be fondled with.  
"N-oir...DO THE SAME TO ME."  
Noir smiled. "What's the magic word Ham?"  
"Please...?" Ham asked.  
Spider-Noir put his mouth on Ham's tiny dick. Ham was a moaning mess.  
"Do it for daddy Noir!" Noir spoke. Noir was feeling. He knew at some point he would need to get his big mac. He didn't are. He was returning a favor to Ham.  
"NOI-"  
"all me Daddy Noir, Ham." Noir commanded.  
"DADDY NOIR IM GONNA CUM!'" Like that he cummed. Spider-Ham cummed. Spider Noir took his clothes, and was getting dressed. Ham did the same. They walked out.  
"Oh there you guys are!" Penni smiled grabbing both of there hands. Dragging them to the table.  
"Where you been?" Gwen Smirked. Handing Noir the ten dollars.  
Peter nodded.  
"I would of paid you, but i'm broke." He stated.  
Miles looked confused.  
"Pay for what?" he asked.  
"NOTHING!" ham and Noir shouted. Gaining stares from the entire McDonald's.


	2. except I copied it then put it in with the OWO chrome add on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Download OWO EXTENSION. PLEASE ITS WORTH IT.

"Nyoiw, Awe you ok?" Petew asked as he watched his nyew found fwiend stawing at the McDonyawd's menyu.  
"I'ww owdew, big mac"  
It been five houws. Five whowe houws of Nyoiw standing in the winye. Fow Big mac.  
"Nyo Pickwes, nyo Tomato, just. Ham, and wettuce, with cheese." Nyoiw spoke dwamaticawwy, wighting fwashed fow dwamatic effect. Spidew-Ham stawed in shock.  
"Uh..Nyoiw, you shouwd twy owd-" Miwes was intewwupted by Nyoiw.  
"Then. With Extwa cheese." he stated tipping his fedowa. Wighting stwuck again.  
"Thank you siw, who is nyext."  
He picked up his wawge cup dwamaticawwy, and wawked to the soda machinye. Spidew-Ham wawked uvw.  
"You knyow you awe possibwy eating my fathew. Wight?" Spidew-Ham spoke. Getting a cup with onwy ice.  
"Why what do you want me to eat Spidew-Ham." He asked as he got a nyapkin.  
"Anything but a dead anyimaw >w< Peeta is gonnya sue you ya knyow >w< "  
"Weww then I couwd eat you." He said. he stawed at the pig. The pig stawed at him intensewy. Spidew-Ham had a fight ow fwight instinct come him. Was Nyoiw ok? Wa he impwessed by Mcdonyawd's? Spidew-Hams thoughts wewe intewwupted by being dwagged to the McDonyawd's bathwoom.  
"N-NyOIW WHAT AWE YOU DOING."  
"What Petew, and Gwen payed me to do." Spidew-Nyoiw swammed the bathwoom doow shut.  
"OK WE NyEED TO PWETEND TO HAVE SEX OW THEY WON'T PAY FOW MY BUWGEW." Nyoiw awmost shouted.  
"Did I make you uncomfowtabwe? Di-I am so Sowwy." Nyoiw stawed at Ham. Pwaying he accept the apowogy. Ham stawed at Nyoiw mowe.  
"Who said I didn't want it Nyoiw?" Ham said seductivewy. Nyoiw's face went wed benyeath the mask. Spidew-Ham. Wanting to fuck him. In a McDonyawd's.  
"Weww Ham." He spoke.  
"I accept." He winked. A wink anyonye wouwd die fow.  
Spidew-Ham took off his cwothes.  
Spidew-Nyoiw got the memo and took off his cwothes. Onwy weaving the mask. Spidew-Nyoiw was mowe hype than the time he sowved the Wubix cube. He was pumped. His waging bwack and white dick was out. Spidew-Ham was wooking wike youw evewyday pig. Spidew Nyoiw, was just a man fwom a Bwack and White movie. A womance come twue. Spide-Nyoiw gwabbed his coat. and tied Ham down.  
"Who said you wouwd be the top?" He said. Tipping his fedowa.  
SpidewHam went wed. "BUT I DIDN'T AGWEE TO BEING BOTTOM ;;w;; " He shouted.  
SpidewNyoiw waughed. He gwabbed his shiwt to bwindfowd Ham.  
"YOU KNyOW I'WW SUCK AS A BOTTOM NyOIW, CAN YOU HEAW ME OW DO YOU HAVE AIWPODS IN? ^w^ " Spidew-Ham shouted asking. Wemembewing how Nyoiw was shocked at the sheew existence of Aiwpods.  
"Oh, You wiww." Nyoiw wesponded.  
Ham fewt something entew his mouth. It was Nyoiw's dick. Wong, thick. Wongew than Nyichowas Cage's dick. Extwa thicc. With two c's. Ham sucked on the dick. he heawd moans, he was making Nyoiw, FEEW PWEASUWED. HE WA A PIG. HE WAS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS. Then, he wouwd quit. he wefused to quit. He fewt wike he was wifted off the gwound. Spidew-Nyoiws knyee was Fondwing with Ham's baww sack.  
"Ham, IM GONNyA C-" Nyoiw was intewwupted as he cummed into spidew-Hams mouth. Ham fewt pweasuwed as he fewt his baww sack be fondwed with.  
"N-oiw...DO THE SAME TO ME."  
Nyoiw smiwed. "What's the magic wowd Ham?"  
"Pwease...?" Ham asked.  
Spidew-Nyoiw put his mouth on Ham's tiny dick. Ham was a moanying mess.  
"Do it fow daddy Nyoiw (・`ω´・) " Nyoiw spoke. Nyoiw was feewing. He knyew at some point he wouwd nyeed to get his big mac. He didn't awe. He was wetuwnying a favow to Ham.  
"NyOI-"  
"aww me Daddy Nyoiw, Ham." Nyoiw commanded.  
"DADDY NyOIW IM GONNyA CUM UwU '" Wike that he cummed. Spidew-Ham cummed. Spidew Nyoiw took his cwothes, and was getting dwessed. Ham did the same. They wawked out.  
"Oh thewe you guys awe UwU " Pennyi smiwed gwabbing both of thewe hands. Dwagging them to the tabwe.  
"Whewe you been?" Gwen Smiwked. Handing Nyoiw the ten dowwaws.  
Petew nyodded.  
"I wouwd of paid you, but i'm bwoke." He stated.  
Miwes wooked confused.  
"Pay fow what?" he asked.  
"NyOTHING (・`ω´・) " ham and Nyoiw shouted. Gainying stawes fwom the entiwe McDonyawd's.


End file.
